Widows Remarriage – 8 Barriers that Stop Them!

Historically, widows’ remarriage has remained a complex and sensitive issue in many societies. Widows often face strong religious, cultural, and societal barriers in performing regular and ordinary activities. In this article, you will learn about the obstacles that discourage widows from getting remarried.

In some cultures, their marriage is considered taboo and in others, they are restricted from taking part in cultural ceremonies. Widows still face discrimination and barriers due to some religious and social customs. However, things have started changing in many parts of the world. 

People around the world encourage, support, and accept widows remarriage. The change is strongly associated with the practice of promoting inclusion, gender equality, and recognizing women’s rights. 

Consequently, many developed societies introduced legal and social support systems to protect the rights of widows. These rights give them the freedom to remarry, inherit property, and actively participate in social life.

Despite all the efforts and progress widows remarriage is still discouraged in some communities. The reason behind this is the conservative mental approach, cultural norms, religious beliefs, and attitudes of family members, relatives, and community members. 

Barriers / Factors influencing the decision to remarry

Many social, religious, and customary factors discourage widows from getting remarried. These barriers are discussed below.

1. Future of Children

Margaret Owen writes in her book “A World of Widows” that widows having children don’t want to enter into a marital contract because they are concerned about their children’s future. 

The concern of widows for their children is a valid point. Because if the stepfather is supportive, caring, responsible, and respectful then it can be a positive development for a child’s life. 

On the contrary, a dominating man can negatively influence the life of a child and can control and manipulate the life of the widow and her children. This can result in low self-esteem, low educational attainment, and failure in a child’s life.

2. Fear of Children

Children don’t appreciate their parent’s marriage, in the case of either mother or father. Some take the marriage of their widowed parent as disrespect for their deceased parent. Others find it difficult to give respect and space to a stranger. 

Jon F. Nussbaum et. al., (2000 )in their book “Communication and Aging” stated children as a frequent and strong barrier for elderly widows remarriage. Additionally, children oppose the remarriage of their widowed parents because they fear forgetting their deceased parent due to the presence of a new member. 

3. Stepfathers Behavior 

At times there is a possibility that the stepfather may physically, sexually, and psychologically abuse the children. This is a major reason that stops widows from getting remarried.

This seems to be true in many aspects. It is difficult for a person to accept a stranger’s child as his own. Usually, men see children as a burden and responsibility they are unwilling to take. Even if they choose to marry a widow with children they might not be able to accept them.

Additionally, widows are more concerned for their daughters. There are so many cases that show stepfathers’ inhuman sexual behavior towards their step-daughters. To keep their daughters safe widows avoid the risk of getting remarried. 

4. Acceptance of a New Family Member

Some widows think that remarrying would raise conflicts between children and their stepfather as well as between step-siblings. This is another barrier that keeps widows away from remarriage.

Acceptance of new family members causes a great deal of difficulty for the widow’s family and the new person. Generally, children compare step-fathers with their deceased fathers. Focus on negative aspects rather than positive efforts. The criticism and blame game escalate differences and failure in relationships.

5. Love for Deceased Husband

Some couples are fond of each other and it is impossible for them to find a replacement. In such cases, a widower still might get remarried if he is absolutely helpless with household chores and raising kids.

On the contrary, there are some widows who feel it impossible to love another man and give him the place of their deceased husband. In fact, some widows even feel that they might betray their dead husbands if they remarry. 

Additionally, in some cases widows previously having bad marital experiences would fear entering another relationship. These are some of the factors that are associated with deceased husbands that hinder widows from remarriage.

6. Property Issues

Apart from emotional attachment and respect for their deceased father, children discourage their mother’s marriage because of property inheritance issues. This is another reason that acts as a barrier for widows to remarry.

When children see a danger in splitting property or financial resources they react and refuse to accept the marriage of their mother. Even after entering into a marital contract, the stepfather might face challenges and face legal consequences. 

7. Social and Cultural Barriers

Social and cultural patterns are a reason for many widows to remain single in rural and underdeveloped areas. Traditional norms often make it difficult for widows to remarry. 

In such communities, low literacy rates and low social and economic status of widows make them vulnerable to stand for themselves. Moreover, if a widow decides to remarry she might face degrading and humiliating remarks from relatives, neighbors, and friends. 

In extreme cases, a widow might be banished from social gatherings and face social exclusion. Hence, social and cultural pressure is a strong barrier for widows to remain single.

8. Religious Barriers

Religions around the world give different teachings about widows’ life and their remarriage. For instance, Hinduism teaches that if a woman becomes a widow she should remain celibate for the rest of her life. She is not allowed to take part in any social life and should devote all her life to her husband’s grief. 

In some places in India widows were Satti with their husbands. Satti is the practice of burning the widow with her dead husband. This practice is banned by legislation. Similarly, some African communities follow inhuman practices and rituals that degrade widows in their society.

Such practices lowered the status of widows in the society. People around widows are looked upon as degraded humans. Such ideologies also played an important role in hindering their remarriage. The impact of such beliefs still prevails today and discourages widows’ remarriage. 

 Concluding Remarks

Widows are human beings who deserve to enjoy their lives without any discrimination. They are eligible for equal human rights but social, cultural, and religious practices teach society otherwise. 

Have you seen any widows around you? How does your society treat her? Share your observations and thoughts in the comments section below.